My daughter was playing at our neighbor’s house in the afternoon, and I popped in to see how things were going. My neighbor invited me in to drink some tea and then went back to her preparations for dinner. It was around five o’clock and she was preparing a soup. It seemed to me like she was putting into the pot every vegetable that she had in the fridge: squash, cabbage, carrots, zucchini, celery and more. She seemed so happy making dinner. After the pot was filled with water and boiling, she started making a salad. I was thinking to myself, “Wow, I never prepare so much variety for dinner…maybe tonight I will try to make an extra dish.” Once the salad was dressed and tossed, she started putting cheeses on the table and taking out bread. I was starting to get hungry just watching the variety of food she was putting on the table. As dinner time was nearing, I told my daughter it was time to go home. When we got home, I found myself suddenly inspired to make a nice dinner as well. Even though my husband would be getting home late and not eating with us, I put in extra effort. I chopped and dressed a salad, warmed up a soup I had in the fridge, made and omelet, put some hummus on the table and took out some bread. My daughter and I enjoyed all the variety on the table and enjoyed eating dinner together.
After dinner my daughter got in the shower, and we did our bedtime routine. Usually just before teeth brushing, she starts to whine, “I am still hungry… can I have two biscuits.” But tonight, she did not make a peep. She willingly brushed her teeth and she got into bed for the night. The breakthrough I was waiting for! She was finally satisfied by our meal together.
For those of you that live in America, you will have to change the meal menu around what you are accustomed to eating at certain times of the day but here are the basic principles to planning a meal that your entire family will enjoy:
- Include all of the basic food groups- protein and or dairy, grain/cereal, vegetable/fruit
- Always include bread (most people can eat bread if all else fails)
- Pair familiar foods with unfamiliar foods
- Round out your meals with spreads, sauces, and dessert
- Let everyone choose from what is on the table
I know these tips sound basic, but surveys show that today structured meals and snacks are becoming less and less common. Research shows that a significant proportion of a person’s daily calories now are attributed to grazing; frequent small food-intake occasions at irregular or unstructured times, often in association with other activities.[1]
Why are family meals so important? Research shows that for adults, meals support us in eating what is good for us, maintaining a desirable body weight, and supporting positive health indicators. Additionally, research shows that children and adolescents who participate in regular family meals do better in all ways- nutritionally, academically, socially, emotionally and with respect to the avoidance of overweight, eating disorders, drug abuse, and other destructive behaviors.[2]
Family meals are of central in importance in Judaism as well. There are many laws pertaining to our conduct during a meal such as the table should be clean and properly covered, a person should share words of Torah at the table, and the importance of saying blessings over our food before and after we eat (Kitzur Shulchan Oruch Chapter 42). The table a person eats on is given special importance and is even likened to the altar for sacrifices in the Holy Temple. According to Chassidut, “A person’s table merits him to a portion in the world to come, to livelihood, to a good name in heaven, and to additional strength and courage when he needs it (Sefer Ha’middot[3] Part 1, Eating 3).”
Why are all these merits associated with a person’s dining room table? Why are so many positive outcomes associated with family meals? Family meals provide us with so much more than just nutritional sustenance. It is a time to meet and share our lives with our family and friends, to give and receive emotional support, and to inspire and be inspired. Not only are we able to better take care of our family’s nutritional needs when we prepare family meals, it enables us to make time for the things that really matter. With a little bit of planning and effort, everyone can reap the rewards of family meals.
[1] Satter, Ellyn. “Appendix B.” Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family. 2nd ed. Madison,WI: Kelcy, 2008. 227. Print.
[2] Satter, Ellyn. Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family. 2nd ed. Madison,WI: Kelcy, 2008. 1. Print.
[3] Rebbe Nachman’s teachings on character traits
Gentle Family Nutrition 
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