In the mornings I am watching after my neighbor’s 10 month old daughter. She is an active, happy, and sweet baby. I love helping out my neighbor and her baby is a delight. My neighbor has one unique quality, she dislikes fruit. She won’t touch any type of fruit. As a mom she has had to overcome her dislike of fruit somewhat and worry that her kids are being introduced to different types of fruit and to offer them fruit daily. Most of her kids enjoy eating fruit, but her baby daughter is not so fond.
One morning I grated Yael[1] an apple and put it on her lips. She licked her lips and simply shook her head unimpressed. The next day I tried to feed her a banana and gave her a taste. She spit it out. I was not too worried because she was eating her vegetables and meat and starches well and was happy. I smiled to myself and thought how much my neighbor’s daughter is just like her mom. She even looks like her the most out of all her kids.
The situation in which I found myself motivated me to research finicky eaters and develop an effective method for exposing Yael to new foods without being too pushy. From my research I learned some helpful things. Children often eat small amounts, behave inconsistently when they eat, and are fickle about their likes and dislikes. A parent might interoperate their child’s behavior as finicky but they are not. They are just eating normally for a young child. In contrast, a child that only eats from a limited list of foods, insists on the same foods again and again, and even gets upset when offered something that is not on the list is a finicky eater. [2]
How could I prevent Yael from becoming a finicky eater? The first answer I got was not to pressure her into eating fruit. Some children are naturally very sensitive to taste, texture, and smell. These children can enjoy certain foods a lot and other foods can make them upset and even spit them out. When parents and caregivers pressure children to eat, they can make the children turn into finicky eaters. Children always do more and dare more when they feel control over a situation. If a child is calm and polite but firm about his food refusal, he will be able to very gradually try new foods and even learn to like them.
After 10, 15, or 20 times of being offered a food, they might even start like the food. This was my second answer. Don’t give up on presenting Yael with fruits of all types in a variety of presentations. Parents and caregivers who provide too few opportunities for children to learn to like new foods can also make children into finicky eaters.
So over the next few weeks I presented Yael with all different types of fruits: watermelon, persimmon, grapes, clementines etc. Some she liked better than others. I did not really care how much she was eating; just that she was enjoying herself and trying new fruits. Then one day she came with an apple in her bag. I was not eager to prepare it for her because of all of her previous negative reactions to apples. Then her mom called to see how our morning was going and she said, “About the apple, yesterday I cut the apple into slices and Yael enjoyed munching on them. Maybe she will like it today too.” I was happy to hear the good news. I happily peeled and sliced the apple and Yael noshed away. I was satisfied that the method had worked and Yael learned to like a new food.
This reminded me of the mitzvah of bringing the first fruits to the Kohen in the holy Temple. In chassidus we learn that the first fruits are the aspect of renewal and new beginnings: “The main obligation of bringing the first fruits alludes to renewal, that a person needs to renew himself each time and to begin again every time.”[3] I loved that this mitzvah discusses fruits and that was the food I was struggling to get Yael to eat. It was only too relevant to the approach I needed to take when trying to get Yael to eat fruit- to serve her fruit with enthusiasm and excitement as if I had never served it to her before.
When exposing your child to new foods every time is like the first time. In order for a child to learn to like new foods they might need to be presented to them several times in many different forms before they have the courage to try one. Just act with simple faith that a child needs a lot of exposure to different foods, to learn to like them- and don’t be afraid or insulted if a child says no.
As parents, we may have to work on our own picky food habits right along with our children. Our children will only have positive eating attitudes and behaviors if we do. So let’s not be afraid to serve all different types of food and try out different ways of food preparation. Our time and effort now can make an enormous difference for our children later on.
[1]This is a made up name.
[2] Satter, E. 2002: Ellyn Satter’s Nutrition and Feeding for Infants and Children: Handout Masters. http://www.ellynsatter.com
[3] Rebbe Natan, Halachot Yoreh Deah, Laws of Meat and Milk, 4th law
Gentle Family Nutrition 
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